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What are friends for?

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Having friends seems to make a difference in people’s lives. It may foster self-esteem, providing services to the needy, promoting social competence and inhibit loneliness.

By Sanjoo Thangjam

The quotations in this article are sayings of the founders of several religions and also different religious leaders, thinkers, great philosophers, free thinkers, scientists, psychologists, politicians and poets and some other publications, too. Their names and references are given under each quotations. There are also many other statements in this article where references are not given. Most of them are extracted by me.

People typically consider friendship a voluntary or freely chosen relationship. This is in contrast to family, who are not freely chosen or interactions with people at work which are not voluntary. Human are by nature social beings. But this is not by choice; it is a matter of survival. These friendly interactions make people feel that their presence is valued. Friendship is seen as an equity relationship where the norm is that what a friend does for you needs to be reciprocated in some form as gratitude.

Spending time together means that friends seek out each other’s company.

Nevertheless, while friends wish to spend time together, friendship is typically not experienced as exclusive, such as romantic relationship. Companionship on the other hand means having someone to do or share things with and to be of service in times of need.

This is an obvious benefit of friendship. Emotional support from friends often takes the form of gratitude, moral support and may occur in both mundane crisis situations.

Some friendship are of long duration while others are relatively brief. Research has found that two-thirds of older persons have had friendships that lasted throughout their life.

As people age, their needs for social support may increase as they are confronted with mobility, health and stamina difficulties. At the same time, the death and retirement movements of friends may reduce the size of their social network. Having friends seems to make a difference in people’s lives. It may foster self-esteem, providing services to the needy, promoting social competence and inhibit loneliness.

According to the Buddha, we must seek out spiritual friends who will support us as we strive to attain perfection. These friends will point out weakness without rancor and encourage us in our practice of the Buddha’s teaching. Friends like these do not expect anything in return and are only concerned with our welfare. We in return treat them in the same way and we work for our mutual benefit.

THE NATURE OF FRIEND
There are four kinds of friends,
This you must know.
One is like a flower, another like a scale.
One like a mountain and one like the earth.
– Foe Suo Pei Sutra

DO NOT BREAK FRIENDSHIP
Break not the friendship of a friend in vain:
The same friendship you will never regain,
For friendship once broken like a china bowl
Can never, never again be made whole.
It can be mended like a china bowl;
It’s true but the parts mended will always remain in view
A Reliable Friend Gives Confidence
Life has no blessing like a prudent friend
– Euripides

A TRUE FRIEND
A true friend is one who knows all your faults, and still loves you.

REAL FRIENDSHIP
Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
– Bacon

NEW AND OLD FRIENDS
Make new friends but keep the old,
The first is silver but latter gold

SILENCE IS A FRIEND
Silence is friend that will never betray you
– Confucius

WITH WHOM YOU DARE TO BE YOURSELF
What a friend? I will tell you.
It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself
– Frank Crane

A PRAYER
Lord,
Save me from my friends.
I know how to protect myself from enemies.
– Voltaire

NO LANGUAGE FOR FRIENDSHIP
The language of friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is the intelligence above language
– Thoreau

THE ORNAMENT OF AND HOUSE
The ornament of a house is the friend who frequents it.
– Emerson

FRIENDSHIP FOR EVERYTHING
By friendship you mean the greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable.
– James Taylor

FALSE FRIENDS AND TRUE FRIENDS
False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.
– Burton

VIRTUOUS FRIENDS
Friendship must be accompanied with virtue, and always lodged in great and generous minds.
– Trap

FRIENDSHIP GROWS SLOWLY
Friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
– Washington

GIVE IN RETURN AS MUCH AS IS RECEIVED
Many times a day, I realized how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I received.
– Albert Einstein

( The writer is a Sub-Editor of The Morning)

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